It's Gonna Be An Interesting Summer
by MP PrussianMia
Summary: Their leaders have sent them away to rural Colombia to learn to get along. As the countries get to know each other, bonds start to form. But what's the word about those criminals that escaped from jail last night? Warnings: Random, Yaoi, OOC,M Language
1. Welcome home!

**Hello there! Mia here~ Have I got a story for you! This is going to be my first multi-chapter fic, so bear with me ^^;; The plot is inspired by my mother's story of how she spent her summers when she was a teenager living in Colombia. So many of the activities mentioned all based on real life. This chapter isn't all the great just because it's the introduction to everything. Nether the less, please enjoy! I do not own Hetalia or it's characters. I only own the plot and my writing!**

**FULL SUMMARY Cuz it didn't all fit: ********The World leaders have agreed that their countries need to get to know each other better. And what do parents do when they wanna get rid of you? Send you to a F*king barn in the middle of nowhere. Only 90 days to go... Warnings: Crazy, random Shit, OOCness, Potty mouths, Awkward situations and so much more xD**

Writing Styles:

Normal/Thoughts

**Loud thoughts**

_**Emphasize**_

* * *

Poland's POV

"So...like, where are we?"

There were the words that I said after looking at where I was. Where was I? In the middle of fucking **NOWHERE**! We were all just standing at some rusty ass gates with all our bags laying at our feet. "Honestly, this is a joke, right? I _**know**_ this isn't my vacation home!" No no no no no...**NO!** I'm supposed to be in Paris, Milan, Tokyo! Not _here_ on a stupid farm! "Someone say something!"

"P-Poland, please relax. Maybe we ll just got on the wrong flight or the location got mixed up or-"

"Liet, like _**shut up!" OK**_, maybe not the nicest thing to say but I'm like stressed here! And _Liet_ is **always** trying to make the best of any situation and by _**God, **_I love him but now is **NOT** the time! B-But...now's he's looking down like a kicked puppy..." L-Liet-"

"Ahh! _Los países __(The countries!)_! _Bienvenidos! (Welcome!) _I'm so glad you could all make it here safely!" **THAT** voice I knew all too well. Prussia's annoying ass friend, Spain. But not annoying like 'I wanna punch him', he's just really loud...Hey! W-Why should I even explain myself to you?

…..Liet said I should try to be nicer to people so I don't turn out like sour Romano. How am I doing...?

"'Toni! Where have you been, bro?" Ugh, enter annoyance number 2. Prussia. We used to be pretty close until he moved in with me for a while. Let me tell you: At times, I felt like I was going to go to jail because of murder. He is so _**messy!**_ I felt like I was rooming with a pig. Clothes left on the floor, fridge always empty, dished never cleaned. I was practically _**shitting rainbows**_ when Germany came to take him back. Hallelujah!

"Ahh, Poo! (AN: Anyone wanna guess why the nickname?) _Lo siento por no decirte (I'm sorry for not telling you). _I've been here for the last few weeks to make sure the house was move- in ready!"

…..Did he just say move- in...? No...no! I stared at him in disbelief, mentally punching his stupid smiling face with my _**killer unicorn!**_ And he sparkles dammit! I threw down my bags and marched up to him, my (fabulous!) blonde hair barely grazing his chin. Damn his tall self and my heeled boots that were still in the luggage. "Look here, you crazy bumpkin, maybe they're all here for this but I most certainly am supposed to be on my way to the Bahamas in a high-speed, private jet!" I was practically screaming by the end of my little sentence, my breaths now coming out in short puffs. You should see how confused he looks right now, with his big bright green eyes and his head tilted to the side. "Now, **PLEASE**! Get me on a plane so that I can call that good-for-nothing President of mine and then Netherlands so he can pick me up since he's the only bastard not here right now!"

I honestly don't know what happened but something inside him just snapped. He stood back up to his full height, which was pretty fucking tall, and firmly stood at the door. "_Lo siento amigo (I'm sorry, friend)_ but I can't let you do that. I was given specific instructions to ready this house for up to 30 people and not one was named 'Netherlands'. So I guess we're all going to be staying here."

_Me_? Poland? Feliks Łukasiewicz? Living in this _**DUMP**_, totally _**NOT **_fabulous house? Let me think, um...**FUCK NO!.**

But before I could say something to this idiot, China spoke. "But why wouldn't our leaders have told us of this, aru? Surely they cannot expect to keep us trapped here, aru!" Ahh, Yao. Pretty, ever-so polite Yao. At least someone's on my side. But Spain remained unfazed. Dammit, where was Romano to slap him when you need him?

"_Oi! Idiota! (Hey! Idiot!)"_

Speak of the devil.

Now just the thought of Spain getting his ass whooped is funny but Romano's outfit was even better. He came out of the house wearing a maid outfit. Wait, let me re-phrase: _**Tiny!**_maid outfit. The hem of the puffy skirt barely grazed the middle of his thighs. And he had a little lace headband on his head! He looked _fabulous_! Green is _**SO **_his color. Best part? I'm damn **sure** he doesn't know we're **ALL** here. But he does now.

_**"CHIGI!" **_Why didn't you tell me they arrived? _**BASTARDO (Bastard)**_! And then he ran inside again. Why do I feel like I saw a dildo in his hands? I looked over at Liet and nodded. Yes, yes I did. Because Liet was hyperventilating and shaking and blushing. He is so cute! I _**love**_ Liet! I can't **WAIT** to corrupt his innocence!

Damn, I mean...have best friend time? Look, he doesn't know I like, love him. So hush dammit! And don't even _think_ about telling cuz I will-

"**Feliks!**"

Like, Liet is calling me! I looked back and realized that during my argument with myself, everyone had moved inside the house and Liet was just standing in the doorway with his hand extended.

"Come on, Feliks!We've found a note left by the leaders!"

Yes! I swung my brand new Prada purse over my shoulder and took hold of Liet's soft hand. You'd think that with all the work he does, that his hands would be hard and calloused. Nope! Soft as a baby's butt! Well...not actually a butt...you know what I mean! I tugged Liet inside and nearly crashed into the damn Russian _dupek (asshole)_. I don't see how China deals with him! Wait, wait...Matthew's talking.

"_'-And so, we hope that you can understand the reasons as to why we have agreed to do this, though we honestly don't give a __**damn!**__ All the leaders strongly feel like we need to improve global relations so we've decided to put you all together in one house for 90 days. You will not have any access to the outside world except the neighboring towns and the __**ONE**__ television in the house. Which you will __**HAVE**__ to share with __**EVERYONE **__ in the house. No cellphones, no internet. There are plenty of books, movies, and activities to do so enjoy! See you all in 3 months! We'll be checking upon you all bi-monthly so behave. We have eyes and ears in high places._

_-Leaders _

_PS. Expect more countries to join you later in the week. '_

And that's all it says. I guess we're stuck here...where ever _**'here'**_ is anyway..."

Liet was wiggling against me slightly, with that worried, mother hen look. "Poor Matthew. He looks so sad...I bet its because Alfred's not here. While he is annoying, I know Matthew loves his brother."

….

…..I'm stuck here? For 90 days, in the middle of nowhere, with these people? OK, I'm ready. Kill me now. I beg you, **please!** I can't spend a whole summer in...in...my eyes averted (big word!) slightly and the address on the letter was directed to Colombia.

Colombia...Colombia._..._

Where the **FUCK** is Colombia?

* * *

**...Do NOT mess with a mad Spain. He is a mean mofo! That goes for Poland as well. NEVER tell him that he wouldn't be going on a real vacation. Ever heard of "Kill the messenger"? He firmly practices that. FIRMLY!**

**And yes, I do believe that Poland has arguments with himself. And he wins them all. Why do I feel like during Mattie's reading, Romano slipped a note to Gilbert that read "We have Jersey Shore on record! I made sure of it." ?**

**One tv for 30+ people? GOOD F-ing LUCK! I can't share the living room tv and it's just my brother and I!**

**Anyway, this story is going to have alternating point of views. I know I'll be doing:**

**Poland (main one)**

**Liet**

**Gilbert**

**Romano**

**Mattie**

**Germany**

**Hong Kong**

**If you'd like me to do a chapter with a character not mentioned, just put it in a review or a PM. I gurantee I answer back within a day!**

**Well, I guess that's it. I hope you enjoyed this and keep reading cuz it just gets crazy-er from here xD!**

**Reviews make sure that Poland doesn't die!**

**Adios!**

**-MP Prussian Mia**


	2. Fucking dildo

**Hallo! Mia here...It's currently 3:56 am and I'm about ready to crash. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy! Drama's starting to bubble up, slowly but surely! I'm almost positive that the facts about Colombia are correct. Including the bipolar weather! ****I do not own Hetalia or it's characters. I only own the plot and my writing!**

**Currently UNBETAed. Please ignore any mistakes.**

**Please enjoy~**

**Chapter Warnings: AUish, M language, Yaoi, Suicidal tendencies.**

Writing Styles:

Normal/Thoughts

**Loud Thoughts**

_Emphasize _

* * *

Lovino's POV

Colombia. Let me tell you something about fucking Colombia. She's a mean little bitch, alright. Now, for those ignorant people who don't know where Colombia is (America and Poland...dumb asses...), She's in South America. She shares borders with Venezuela, Brazil, Ecuador, Peru, and Panama. Very bipolar weather there too. And absolutely nothing to do. Kill me. _**Please.**_

But first, let me tell you why I'm here. Our lovely leaders decided that we all needed some time to get to know each other. So, while they're all chilling on some sunny tropical island, sipping on dirty martinis, we're stuck in a fucking barn in Cali, Colombia. Granted, Colombia is not completely rural. But, our dear leaders took it into their liberty to make sure that our summer home was literally in the middle of nowhere. The nearest city is about 35 miles away. And we have no car.

Yeah...

Anyway, where was I, you ask? And shut up if you didn't because I know you wanna know. I'm hiding in a closet somewhere on the second floor. _M__otivo per cui mi sto nascondendo?(Why am I hiding?)_. Because I'm fucking embarrassed, that's why! See, before everyone got here, it was just Spain and me. Just us. Alone. In a big house. Oh yeah~. It was sexy time! So, Spain got frisky. You may not believe me but let me tell you, Spain is a kinky bastard. As soon as everything was in place, he whipped out a tiny maid outfit and a HUGE dildo. Not as big as him but pretty close.

S-So, while I _prepared_ myself, he went outside and stayed out there for a while. So, I'm there, in a maid outfit, legs spread, on a big bed, waiting like an idiot. Now look, I'm not a very patient person. B-But, it's not my fault, dammit! Spain has spoiled me since I was a kiddo so I just got used to being cared for. Now, combine that with a hot, burning need to straddle a tanned Spaniard, which didn't really help. A hot, toned, lean, dark-haired, green-eyed Adonis. Draped all over me...Ohh~ HM! Sorry about that.

….Don't tell him I said that.

W-Whatever. I got sick of waiting, so I went outside with the big ass dildo in my hand and you know what I found?

About 30 people staring at me like I was insane. Maybe it was the dildo.

Yeah, it was defiantly the dildo.

After screaming at the bastard, I ran inside and leaped into this very closet. It's been pretty nice in here, don't get me wrong. I've been laying in a bundle of _perritas_ (_small blankets)_ and I even found some old _Cosmo_ magazines. From what I can tell, Matthew has just finished reading the letter that was left for us by our leaders. And now Poland is complaining. Joy. I grabbed one of the _perritas_ and bundled myself up into a warm corner. Remember how I said Colombia had bipolar weather? I wasn't lying. While nice and sunny during the day, the temperature drops to form chilly nights. Thank god I found these blankets because I have absolutely no plans to EVER come out of this closet and face everyone. No sir~y, Bob.

"-Can't wait til we see the bedrooms!" High, shrill voice. Must be Feliciano.

"Yes! At least they're all king-sized or else I'd end up kicking Liet in his sleep!" That's Feliks.

"Woo-hoo! A vacation with my two best friends, my brother and my girl." Fucking Prussian.

"Fuck you, Gilbert! I'm not a damn girl!" Poor, poor Matthew.

"Hey, we should all go out and explore!" Feli again.

"But it's quite chilly, _Italia (Italy)_. You'll need a coat. Let's get it from your bags." Macho Potato.

"I'll check in this closet. There's gotta be, like, something in here."

Closet? Feliks sound _**WAY**_ closer now then he did before. And why are the handles rattlin- What the fuck!

The doors swung open and god **damn** those lights hurt my eyes. "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" When I was finally able to open my eyes, I looked up and stared at the silky locks of a Polish man (woman? Tranny?). Honestly, this kid could easily pass as a girl. Kinda scary.

Defiantly scary.

"Like, hey Lovino~! We finally found ya! And still in your fabulous little maid outfit, I see. Green is _**so~**_ your color, babe. Brings out your eyes. And the dildo? Where'd you put it, eh?" Feliks peeked in closer, trying to see under my shirt. '_He thinks its __**in**__ me...!' _I growled at him and he stepped back to fully open the doors and flood the blinding light into my little burrow.

"_**Chigii~!**_ Don't say things like that aloud! What if someone hears?" I leaped up like a fucking _**cheetah**_ and slapped my hand over his loud-ass mouth. This blonde bastard is going to ruin me, dammit! I did a quick sweep of the area but no one was around anymore. _**Yet.**_ I could hear the heavy footsteps trotting up the stairs. "S-Shit..."

Poland just looked at me with curious eyes before throwing one of his long trench coats over my shoulders. He leaned down and buttoned up the wooden buttons like a pro and by the time a speck of dark curls appeared at the top of the stairs, I was already fully covered. _'This kid just saved me..'_ "F-Feliks, I-"

"Lovi? _Mi Lovi? Te encontré (I found you)!" _Oh Spain. My dumb ass bumpkin. In a split second, he was all up in my face, checking for injuries and what not. Why? I don't even know because I certainly am not going to fight one of these psychos. No sir. But I'd get into a thousand fights if it meant having Antonio's warm hands cupping my face.

…

Goddamn, that sound gay as hell! I'm gonna be as gay as Feliks soon.

"_Mi Lovinito,_ why were you hiding? Everyone wanted to see you in your pretty outfit." Pretty outfit, my ass! All the snickering from the crowd behind us didn't help at all. I look like a damn slut. A kinky one at that. I just shook my head so that they all wouldn't see my (tomato) red blush and (not so) gently placed my hands on Spain's chest. After a small (hard) push, he let me get up and even though I had Poland's coat on, I tugged it closer. _'I feel so naked...'_

"Lovino, are you alright? You seem pale..." Ahh, such a quiet, clear bell voice. Matthew. The poor boy who got stuck with Gilbert. Be strong child, be strong! As I turned my head to address him, I stretched my leg back to kick the closet door shut. Hopefully, no one saw. But a quick bump to my ankle proved me wrong. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw a pair of bright green eyes glaring back at me. Shit, I can't tell with him now.

"Y-Yeah, Matt, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Now that everyone is aware of the current situation, what are we going to do to make sure no one in here dies?"

A large gloved hand raised was raised. Oh god... "Yes, Ivan?"

"I think everyone should become one with Mother Russia, da?" And from voices throughout the whole house, all you heard was a firm, solid...

"No."

And then the hand lowered down as fast as it came. Though, I could feel a demonic aura in the room...

"Um, why don't we all go downstairs after everyone's settled in. It seem like the doors have the couples' names on them so...yeah. We'll meet up in an hour or so. "That's the Shivering Trio's elder brother, Lithuania. He dates Poland, right? One glance on Poland's glowing face confirmed it.

"Good idea, Liet! Let's go unpack!" He latched onto the guy's arm and ran into one of the open bedrooms that read _'Toris & Feliks'_. As they passed me, Feliks bumped my hand gently before putting something in the palm if my hand. _'A note...?'_

"Lovi?"

I looked up to see 3 pairs of eyes staring back at me. A set of green, another ruby, and the last a purplish blue. I tuned mine towards the tanned face that contained the green emeralds. "I-I'm sorr- What do **you** want, bastard?" That was a nice save.

"I asked if you wanted to go and find our room." Damn his caring, puppy dog face. I can't be mean to him when he's like this...

"W-Why do you even think that we'll be paired together?" As if everyone didn't already know that he was banging my brains out. I quickly turned away and turned down the hall. '_Where's my damn room?' _All the way at the end of the hall was a single door that read _'Antonio & Lovino'. _Dumb Spaniard was right... "Antonio, I found our room. Bring our bags!" I looked back at him with my classical, cold, over-the-shoulder 'ugh' loo. Complete with the bored expression and the eye roll. But he didn't even see it because he was already downstairs.

"Hey, little brat! Looks like we'll be getting to know each other!"

...huh?

Gilbert exposed 2 neat rows of pearly teeth in the form of a smirk. He pointed to a door next to ours that read _'Gilbert & Matthew'._ Oh god, oh god, please no...I turned slowly to the left and dared a peek at that door's sign. _'Francis & Arthur'._

**FML.**

"If I hear you harassing him, Gilbert, I'll make you sleep in the couch downstairs. _Pigé? (Got it?)" _Damn! It looks like Gilbert's his bitch, not the other way around. Matthew's like a pimp!

"Thanks, Matthew. I'll just be in here so...yeah." I ran inside my room before they could even answer. Good, they probably didn't see. I leaned against the door and slowly slid down to my bum. Very very carefully, I rolled up the long coat's sleeves up and stared at the long lines along my arms. Stupid Feliks...he wasn't supposed to see it. The long, spidery lines snaking up my arms like intricate, intertwining designs of silken thread. Except mine weren't white and pure. Mine's were red and an utter sin. I was so good at hiding it. Hungary lent me some heavy duty makeup to cover them until they healed but I guess by being near makeup all the time, he saw through my disguise.

_**'Knock, Knock'**_

I quickly rolled down my sleeves and pretended that I was fixing the bed. "C-Come in..." Please don't let it be Poland, please, _**please!**_

"Lovino! Like, look at me right now!" **Dammit!** I slowly looked over at him and sighed. "Don't sigh at me, Mister! We need to talk about this." Shit, if he talks any louder, the whole fucking house will hear! I grabbed his arm and dragged him inside before slamming and locking the door. After securing said locks, I pushed him down onto my bed and glared at him.

"Look, before you say anything, please don't. I've already gotten this lecture from Elizabeta. I've stopped, I have. These are just old scars that need to heal, ok?" I could practically feel his green eyes drilling holes into my skin. I self-consciously pulled the sleeves down even further. I absolutely hate when people notice my scars. They start looking at me in a completely different way. The stupid looks of concern and _**fucking**_ pity. I don't need it. **I don't!**

"Lovi, look at me." I squeezed my shut but it appears that they were already shut, and shook my head. Having no sight, I could just cringe as I felt the soft, warm hands slowly roll up the sleeves. The hand gently traced the small patterns I had drawn once upon a time. They traced up all the way up to my shoulder blades. "Lovino, how...? Some of these lines look like they were drawn with a thin brush..."

I don't really know why I answered because I know he didn't really expect it. "I would...get a small blade and sit in front of a mirror and just cut. My hands would just move on my own. And I would just watch the blood flow. You know...?" I had finally opened my eyes and stared at the emerald stones in front of me. But he didn't even flinch. Not one look of pity. Instead, he looked at me with pride.

"So, you stopped? Just like that? All by yourself...?" I think he almost sounds...impressed with me?

"Yeah... I didn't want to go and burden that idiot. Especially with how his economy's going and all..." Burden is an understatement. He'd lose his wits trying to find the reason to which I cut to. And I'd be as selfish as to never tell him.

"Yes, you're right. He doesn't need that burden. So I'll take it." And with a small pat to my shoulder, he rolled my sleeves back down and walked out the door as if we didn't just have a conversation about suicidal actions. Go figure. After a few seconds, I opened the hand that was clutching the note he had given me earlier. I carefully opened the small piece of paper and read:

_**'For every cut you do, I'll do 3 and if you lie to me, I'll do 5.'**_

_** -Feliks**_

"Hehe, stupid bra-"

"What are you reading, _Mi Lovi?_" Son of a **bitch!** I shoved the note into my coat pocket and turned to stare at Antonio's curious face. He had all our bags tucked under his strong, toned, _sexy _arms and looked like he could easily carry more. **Sexy beast!**

"Um, nothing. Did you get everything?" He nodded and laid down the bags at the end of the bed. Yup, bed. Not beds. **Bed.** Not that I mind, not one bit. "Well then, help me unpack everything."

"_Si, mi__ princesa (Yes, my princess)!_" His hands wrapped around my middle and unbuttoned my coat. His hands gently slipped it off my shoulders and left me feeling naked once more.

"Fuck you! I'm not a princess!"

"Ok ok, my maid!"

* * *

"Look, there they are." Stupid Prussian and his loud voice. I was slowly (and I mean _**slowly**_) coming down the stairs to meet up with everyone. Why was I limping like an 80 year old man? I suppose you can guess what happened once the coat came off. Good times, _**good times.**_

A-Anyway, you could saw that we were a little late compared to everyone else. I glanced around quickly and sure enough, we were the last couple to arrive. I had finally changed into some decent clothes but I still felt naked everything I caught Poland staring at me. I tried to ignore him as best as I could but his flamboyant attitude didn't help. And I think people were starting to notice. Until England spoke.

"Ignoring Lovino's abused asshole, let's begin. I guess we should just decided on a list of chores that everyone will have to do-"

"Vee~! I'm hungry!" Face palm! Of course its Feliciano who says that. But it seems that no one minds because they're all agreeing.

"I think, that since it's just the 1st night, we should all just relax for today. I shall even cook for us, aru." There's the girly man who dates (**bangs**) Russia. He must be a strong cookie to break cuz I haven't seen him in tears yet. _**Yet.**_China bowed his head and went over to the kitchen to start the preparations. There was a lone pot just simmering away with something...colorful in it. He peered closer and almost dropped the pot's handle in surprise.

"Who is cooking a purple dildo?"

Fuck. Don't say it, please don't-

"Oh, me! Lovino likes to have it warm and clean!"

Suddenly, 30+ pairs of eyes were on me.

"**I HATE YOU SO MUCH!**"

* * *

**What do you think?**

**Suicidal Lovi is such a fantasy of mine xD And Poland always comes to the rescue!**

**Did you like that peek into Lovino's mind? It was so much fun writing him! **

**And yes, Colombia is a bitch. Those 2 weeks over there were a damn roller coaster ride.**

**No Jersey Shore yet! Will Our Lovino survive?**

**...Purple Dildo and a maid outfit. 'Nough said.**

**Anyway, this story is going to have alternating point of views. I know I'll be doing (Not in order):**

**Poland (main one)**

**Liet**

**Gilbert**

**Romano**

**Feliciano**

**Mattie**

**Germany**

**Hong Kong**

**If you'd like me to do a chapter with a character not mentioned, just put it in a review or a PM. I gurantee I answer back within a day!**

**Well, I guess that's it. I hope you enjoyed this and keep reading cuz it just gets crazy-er from here xD!**

**Also, OneShot! Requests are still open so, yeah :3**

**Reviews make sure that Lovino doesn't die of embarrassment!**

**Adios!**

**- MP Prussian Mia**


	3. Snooki?

**It's 4:58 am. I'm offically dead...but I had to upload the newest chapter. I hope you enjoy~**

**Please read: I am in desperate need for a BETA. A good one. Someone who I can harass at un holy hours of the night. Someone that will kick my ass so that I actually reach my deadlines on when I should be updating...If you're interested, please drop me a PM.**

**Currently UN-BETAed. Please excuse any errors.**

Writing Styles:

Normal/Thoughts

**Loud thoughts**

_**Emphasize**_

* * *

_"I'm going to Jersey Shore, bitch!"_

_-Snooki_

* * *

Gilbert's POV

I was in a field. An awesome field 'cuz I was standing in it. The only other person was...Hong? **WTF?** He isn't supposed to be here until tomorrow...right? Now, I know I chugged down a couple of beers (6) with Toni and Franny but I damn sure know that Mattie wouldn't let me sleep the whole day away. Not because he was such a needy kid that he wanted to be with me every second (not that I'll ever mind), but to make sure I don't go off and harass pedestrians. But still, this was a pretty weird dream, if that's what it is. I tried to reach out my hand to him but the closer I got to him, the farther he went.

"-bert?"

I raised my head and looked around. That was Mattie's voice. I'd know that voice anywhere. I could be piss-ass drunk or so tired I fell asleep while standing but I always answer my _Wölkchen (little cloud)._ The only problem...I couldn't see him. Hong was very far by now and I could barely make out where his outstretched hand was pointing to...Northwest maybe? I slowly turned around and did a double take. Then, I rubbed my eyes to make sure what I was seeing wasn't just my imagination. Oh no. It was Mattie...dressed like Snooki. Yup, an oomph-lumpa in a leopard print dress with a 3 in poof.

'_Dear Gott...'_

"Gilbert!"

The Mattie/Snooki...thing was running at me! I was surprised it could even speak...but nonetheless, I ran. I ran so hard I could give any Olympic athlete a run for their beer. Not that I'd ever do that. I'm far too awesome for the silly Olympics. It's all about FIFA...not that we won it though.

Regardless, I thought I finally lost that disgusting creature, only to turn and see it 2 inches away from my face. Beyond its head, I could just make out more figures coming closer. Lovino with huge, fake breasts, Arthur with long, stick-straight hair, a buff, tanned Francis, and...was that Austria...as the cool DJ? Oh, _**hell no**_. This is definitely a dream. I reached out my hand once again, except this time, I was met with flesh. Warm, not orange flesh.

"If you're all done groping me, could you please let go off my nose?"

I finally opened my eyes and was met with Mattie's beautiful, tired eyes. I looked around but it seems everything was just a dream. We were still in bed at our new home here in good old Colombia. I heard Mattie give a deep sigh and that's when I remembered that apparently, I still had his nose in my hand. Gently releasing it, I stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go get something to drink. I'll be right back." I leaned down and laid a kiss on my little blonde's forehead. _'I'm really not thirsty at all...but I'm really not sleepy after that horrible dream...'_ I think both Mattie and I knew that I wasn't thirsty but he still let me go as I walked out the door into a cold ass hallway.

That's when I heard it: The light shuffling of someone trying to be very quiet. I looked over at the rooster clock (yes, a fucking rooster) on the wall and the short hand was just barely on the '4' mark. "Who else is up at 4 am?" And that's when it all made sense. "It's a fucking _**assassin!**_"

"Yeah, because that's the only logical answer on to why someone would be up at this UN-godly hour. Fucking _idiota!_"

Oh, I knew that voice too damn well.

Lovino.

The little brat was standing at the top of the staircase wrapped in a big, fluffy blanket. He almost looked cute. And then he opened his mouth.

"_Oi, __stai ascoltando? (A__re you listening__ to me?)_"

Why's he so damn noisy? How the hell does Toni deal with him?

"Could you please stop looking at me...?"

Maybe it was just my gut...but I get the feeling that something's wrong with the little brat. He doesn't seem that happy lately...not that you ever really see Lovino with a smile but still...

"Gilbert, I'm serious. Why are you awake right now anyway? Did Mattie finally kick your sorry ass out?" I know I should probably be offended right now but something about his voice wasn't right. Everything was sounding so forced and the Lovino I know would never miss an opportunity to take a jab at me. _'Which gets me thinking...why is HE up? Did something happen between Toni and him?'_

"Hey, Lovino. Why are you awak-"

_**CRASH!**_

Both him and I turned our heads to the staircase. That was definitely the sound of a glass or plate breaking. _'Which means someone else is here...and hungry?' _I glanced over at Lovino's bundled form and had to bite my lip. The kid was trembling and it wasn't from the cold, considering he had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Could it be...that the great Lovino Vargas is scared? But before I could even open my mouth to ask him, another crash sounded downstairs. Someone was definitely here and he's an idiot. If we don't move quickly, he might run away!

"Lovino, come on. Let's check it out!" Said boy just gave me 'the look' before forcing out his best macho face.

"No."

"Eh? Why not? We're awake for a reason, _richtig? (Right?)_ It's cuz we can't fall asleep, so we might as well do something exciting while the rest of the world sleeps." What's the worst that could happen? It's not like we can;t be quiet and if it is a robber, then we'll just fight them. I've seen Lovino mad and he can hit like a bull on steroids.

"No, you idiot! I don't know why you're awake but I have insomnia and I don't think that entitles me to go around playing Sherlock Holmes!" He was obviously fuming so I think I must have a death wish 'cuz I wasn't gonna drop it just like that.

"What are you so afraid of?"

He wasn't excepting that. I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but even I know when someone's trying to hide something. He slowly stood up from his spot on the stairs and pulled the blanket even closer to his body. At first, he didn't even look at me and when he finally did, I almost regretted that I even asked.

His eyes were dark and clouded over and yet, I could tell he was trying hard not to let me see what he was thinking. I saw his mouth moving but nothing came out above a slight whisper.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm not scared! Let's get that damn thief. If he touches my pasta, I'm headbutting him."

I could only blink before nodding slowly. "Y-Yeah! Let's go." This is exciting! I wonder who it is...I nudged him forward and we did like a panther. Slow, calculating, and silent. When we reached the base of the stairs, I peeked out my head and spotted him. A shadowy figure that was...just sitting? The hell? I felt a small tug on my shirt sleeve and looked back at Lovino. I know he said he wasn't scared but he kinda looked like he wanted to shit his pants.

"Oi, Lovino. Are you sure you want to keep going?" Normally, I wouldn't give a damn. But like I said, recently, he hasn't been right...hell, he would've straight up punched me by now just for looking his way.

All I heard was a loud sigh from behind me. "Look, you damn Prussian. I said I was fine and that really didn't change in .5 seconds. So, I swear if you ask me one more time, I'll set my foot so far up your ass, you'll taste the soot from the floor!"

So, remember when I said I was worried? _**Fuck that!**_ I hate this damn kid...I merely scowled at him and started to creep ever so slowly towards whatever may lay in that kitchen. The shadow hasn't moved since we spotted it but something was moving around it...like a little puppy. _'Just a little more...'_ My fingers were just barely grazing the light switch and I took a deep breath. '_Ok, Gilbert. It's the moment of truth. Flip the switch!'_

And I did.

In a flash, I was face to face with a very calm looking Asian man. At first, I thought it was China but when I finally truly looked at him, I saw the blank, brown eyes staring back at me.

"H-Hong...?"

The boy just nodded before licking...his brown finger?

"Hong, what the fuck do you have on your finger? I swear to _Gott_, if that's crap, I'm going to drop-kick you." I'm serious. This night just keeps getting weirder and weirder...

"Yes, Gilbert. Because in a kitchen full of edible food, I'm going to eat crap. What the **hell** is wrong with you?" Hong usually ignores me but seeing as Mattie wasn't here to tell me how wrong that question was, Hong would have to do. He hopped off the island counter in the middle of the kitchen but not before giving me a nice look at his middle finger. Little brat...

"Hong Kong, I thought you weren't arriving until tomorrow?" Shit, I completely forget that Lovino was behind me. Somewhere along with way, he had dropped his blanket and now stood in...tomato pj's.

` "I was but our flight got pushed forward so we arrived way earlier than planned. I deeply apologize if we have disturbed your plans." And then he bowed. The motherfucker bowed to a pretty stunned Lovino. How come he's never that polite with me? A_rschloch (Asshole)_...

Lovi wasn't really used to having other people be so polite so all he could stutter out was a faint "Don't worry about it..." before he walked over to the fridge and fell flat on his face. "What the hell is that?"

That, was hilarious! But, did I really just call him 'Lovi'? _Mien Gott, _I'm spending way too much time with him...Never mind that! I ran over to see what Lovi-NO! Had tripped on and could only scratch my head. "I should've figured...wherever Hong Kong goes, S. Korea is sure to be near." And near he was. So near that he was sleeping on the floor. "Hong, any particular reason Yong is on the floor?"

The brat just shrugged at me, not the least bit concerned. "He said he was sleepy but we didn't want to wake you guys up by peeking around so I told him to take a nap on the couch but then he started saying something about not wanting to leave me alone so I guess he fell asleep on the floor...idiot. I told him I would be fine..."

"But I still have to protect you...no matter what, Xiao."

Yong had sat up and was slowly rubbing his eyes with his long sleeves. Cute but it didn't take away from the seriousness of his voice. And I wasn't the only one who felt it. Hong had turned around slightly so that his back was to Yong but from my point of view, I could clearly see the red blush building up on his cheeks. Mattie was right! Hong really does like Korea. He's just way too stubborn to admit it. Like someone I know...

A quiet beeping broke the silence. It almost sounded...like an alarm. Apparently so because Lovino hopped off the floor and ran to the living room. "Gilbert! It's on!"

"Eh...? What's on? Lovino, what are you talking about? What could possibly be on at," I took a look at the cow clock (Wow...) in the kitchen, "5 am? Besides, whatever the hell it is, it's probably in Spanish." It's not like I didn't know Spanish. It's just these damn Colombians use different words than the ones that Toni taught me!

Lovi just glared at me from his spot in front of the television. "What could possibly be on that I would bother telling you about? Come on, Gilbert! Use what little brain cells you still have..."

….Could it be? And I resent that, dammit! It's 5 in the morning, he should be glad I'm even talking to him right now. But if what he says is true...

"Jersey Shore...?"

"Yes, you dummy! Even I know that much!"... Who the hell asked for the Korean's input? I was gonna turn back and tell him something _really_ friendly in German but Hong beat me to it.

"Yong, shut up! You were hearing voices earlier on!"

And I thought I was loose.

But nothing else matters because now I have my precious JS! I sat down next to Lovino and I couldn't help but smile. "How'd you figure out when it was going to run?"

The brat just shrugged and laid his head on the sofa cushion. "I looked up the timezones and when they were airing. Sadly, the season just ended so these are repeats but I figured something was better than nothing, si?"

It was at times like these, at 5 am, in a rural house in Colombia, in a pitch black room, illuminated only by the television, that I was glad to call Lovino my friend.

"Oh look! Jenni's dating Roger! About time she left that good for nothing Tom. And what the **fuck** is Snooki wearing?"

It was the same outfit that Mattie/Snooki was wearing in my dream...Go figure.

And that's how our night ended. One episode turned into a marathon and by the time we finally started to drift off, the show had changed into an early news channel. Apparently, some inmates had escaped from a prison nearby or something...I couldn't really remember...

* * *

**And thus, Lovi and Gil Gil have discovered JS...again. I feel bad for that house already...**

**Scared Love is 3**

**I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to finally update but here it is. I really hope you liked it! And stay tuned, 'cuz a small omake featuring Hong Kong and Korea is next!**

**Please please review! Even if it's just to tell me how much you liked it! Reviews make my life 3**

**Adios!**

**-Mia**


	4. Omake Nutella

**Here's the omake I promised! I hope you enjoy~**

**Please read: I am in desperate need for a BETA. A good one. Someone who I can harass at un holy hours of the night. Someone that will kick my ass so that I actually reach my deadlines on when I should be updating...If you're interested, please drop me a PM.**

**Currently UN-BETAed. Please excuse any errors.**

Writing Styles:

Normal/Thoughts

**Loud thoughts**

_**Emphasize**_

* * *

Hong's POV

~Earlier that night~

"Be quiet, Yong! It'd be rude to wake them up. Set the bags down next to the staircase and we'll sort them in the morning, ok?" I swear, he's like a bull in a china shop. I know he's trying his best not to make so much noise but damn is he failing.

"Hong, I'm a little hungry, da ze..." Don't look at him, Don't look at him...Dammit, I looked! See, Yong had this secret weapon up his damn sleeve. Those big "take me now" eyes. Pretty effective method, I gotta say. My body felt like fresh pudding...but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Look, if you promise to keep quiet, we can look in the kitchen." The kid just nodded and followed behind me like a lost little puppy. _'Why do I call him kid when technically, he's older than me...?'_ Whatever. It's not like he minds. He acts like one anywa-

_**CRASH!**_

I jumped up and grabbed the closest thing to me (a wooden spoon) before turning around to face the noise. There he was. Im Yong Soo holding the remaining pieces of a once probably beautiful porcelain plate. Should I feel bad? 'Cuz if it's Yao's, then I will. But if it's big browed England's, then I couldn't care less.

Seeing as he looked un-injured, I continued my search for something to eat. I checked the fridge but it was empty. Cabinets: empty. Cupboards: Empty. '_What the hell? What type of kitchen doesn't have a damn thing to eat?'_ I was down to my last cupboard and I think we all know there's going to be nothing in there.

Except, I was wrong.

There was a small jar with a white label that read '_Nutella'_ in big, bold red letters. '_Nutella...?'_

"Xiao, did you find anything, da ze?"

I yelped. I think...b-but it's not my fault! It's this idiot's for scaring me like that...and when did he get so close to me? Why can I feel his breath on my ear?

"Y-Yeah...what I don't know is if it's good...and back up, dammit! There's absolutely no reason for you to be this close to me!" I gave him a hard (soft) push and turned back around to get the small jar. _'What kind of push was that...? But, I can't bring myself to actually hurt the bastard, little less push him away...Man, my head hurts!'_ I reached up and cradled my head gently, rubbing my temples ever so slightly. '_Thinking about him takes way too much energy...'_

"Hong, are you okay? Maybe you're a little cranky because you're hungry, da ze?" Hm...maybe he's right. I nodded slowly and opened the lid on the jar. Nothing unusual, I suppose. It kinda looked like...brown peanut butter. But smelled like heaven. _'I'm a little scared to try this...Here goes nothing!'_ I dripped my finger in and shoved it in my mouth.

Then, I died.

…

And went to heaven.

"Yong, I think I'm in love."

Perfectly normal statement that would obtain a laugh and a pat on the head from any normal person. But then again, Yong isn't normal.

He stole the jar out of my hands, put the lid on it, and threw it somewhere in the damn living room. "Yong, what the F is wrong with you!"

Too much?

I guess so because here come the puppy eyes again. He lowered his head and just took hold of my hands. If I wasn't paying attention, I wouldn't have heard it.

"I don't want you loving anything else but me."

That was it. No silly laugh, no 'da ze'. So then why was my heart beating so fast? I could hear its rapid beating in my ears, loud and clear. How come he can't hear it?

"I-Idiot, you're blabbering out stupid things again..." I tucked my head under his chin so he wouldn't see my blush. I'd never give him that much satisfaction...And that's how we feel asleep.

When I woke up again, I could clearly hear Gilbert's voice coming closer and closer and seeing as I was currently being held, I did the only logical thing.

I pushed Yong off and frantically searched the floor for my forgotten jar of deliciousness. I was **NOT** about to give that bastard Gilbert any reason to make fun of me! After I found the jar, I perfectly positioned myself so that it so~ didn't look like I was just cuddling a sleeping Korean.

And that's when the lights came on.

* * *

**Ahh, Hong Kong. I adore that kid 3**

**Just a little something I wiped up while eating a yummy Nutella sandwich. That stuff is pure addiction, I swear.**

**Also, I apologize if my HK is a little different than others, but that's how I view him in my mind.**

**Please review! Reviews keep me alive 3**

**Stay tuned for a KoreaxHK oneshot! based on the song "Sayonara Memories" By supercell and the latest chapter of FoDE!**

**Adios!**

**- Mia**


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